narrow minded

This morning, I woke and my mind was already busy.  Busy with thought which is nothing new for me.  I slept a little later than usual which always (actually, let’s be honest, that very rarely happens in this stage of life), throws me off.  I made my coffee and told Justin that I needed my “quiet” time…so I retreated to our bedroom where things weren’t as noisy.  (To be noted, as anyone with littles know, that still means there are echoes of lots of life coming down the hall from our babes.)

I want peace for my time with God.  I want to be able to get away to a calming atmosphere.  Preferably by the water.  Or with sunshine.  On my front porch.  Somewhere where I feel closest to God…and for me, usually that’s amidst nature or at least with it in sight.  But life is for real.  Life here on earth isn’t all our heart yearns for.  So I decided to make the most of it.

I walked into our bedroom and found piles upon piles of clothes and mess.  We had just come home from our vacation to the beach, so the suitcase sat with summer clothes -remnants of warm weather and sunshine and memories of water views…what my heart craves on the daily – spilling over onto the floor.  Half drank water glasses and water bottles.  Kiddo pajamas on the floor from our rushed mornings of them getting ready for school in our room while we get ready for work.  Messes reflecting the messy week.  Things I just didn’t want to deal with or focus on.  Especially not in that moment.  My heart sank.  And stepping back now I can see what was happening.  My focus was so wide.  Taking in everything around me.  All the mess.

Sitting in that cluttered bedroom, I wondered if this should even be the place I met with God.  But I heard whispered in my heart as I glanced up from my chair and saw the sun pouring through the window and a landscape of gorgeous large trees filled my view out the window, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you.” – Matthew 7:7

God opened the door of my heart and reminded me that it’s all about my focus.  All about how I channel my thoughts and the focus of my mind.  The enemy wanted to take that obedience and craving for time with my Savior away.  Satan wanted to stop me there and ruin my intentions of time with Jesus.  I fought back.  I narrowed my focus.  The Spirit pushed me on and His power won.

But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

-Matthew 7:14

That narrow focus through the mess to the sunlight-filled window and blue skies was the narrow path He calls us to daily.  And not just in our actions, but also our thoughts and where we dwell in the inner-most of our heart.

Did my shift in focus change the actual circumstances in my midst? Nope.  Did it change how I saw and found peace amidst that chaos? Yes! Does that change how I move into my day and into the world…it makes all the difference.